Ron, that really didn't work, WELL NEITHER DID YOUR FACE!
by acciojubjubbird
Summary: Written for egoats, who is most likely going to hate me for this. Today is her birthday, this is my Evil Birthday plan phase three: Five year old Ron tries pranking, Twins think it's adorable, it's Sally's birthday, and all Percy wants to do read. Probably a bit OOC. Takes place with pre-SS Weasleys, and features a lot of inside jokes. Will most likely not make much sense, sorry!


**Ron, that** **Didn'**t** Work. AND NEITHER DID YOUR FACE! ! !**

"Ronnikins!" seven year old Fred Weasley swooped into his younger brother's room like a speeding snitch. Or rather, he swooped into the hallway right _outside _his younger brother's room like a speeding snitch. Fred didn't go in. Why, you ask?

Because something was up.

Call it a sixth sense for trouble or just dumb luck, but Fred Weasley knew when a trick was being played. Usually because he was plotting them, that was beside the point today.

"Ron, Mum says it's time for lunch and if you don't come down right now you're being fed nothing but corned beef sandwiches for a month!" Fred heard Ron gasp. Molly had of course said nothing of the sort, but Ronnie didn't need to know that.

At the prospect of such horrors, his youngest brother would normally have come dashing down right away. Not today though, therefore something was up. It dawned on him, Ronnie was trying to be a trickster. "Ron come on, I'm not waiting here all day!"

"Come in and get me"

Fred squinted suspiciously. Then he heard the slosh of water above the slightly opened door and understood. Fred was supposed to open the door, walk in, a bucket would fall, and Fred would be soaking wet. Amateur, but effective. Payback for the time the twins turned Ron's teddy bear into a spider, Fred supposed, or the time they gave him an Acid Pop, or the time they gave his Chudley Cannon socks to the gnomes, or the time they convinced him 'Vermicious Knids' were real and lived in a place called Pigfarts on Mars.

All in one morning.

AKA yesterday.

Fred sighed, much as he loved unscheduled bathing, it wasn't gonna happen today.

"Fine then!" he shouted, and then kicked the door down. Surprisingly, instead of a bucket he found a teapot. The teapot fell to the ground and shattered into oblivion like a broken **SOUL.**And then the pieces swirled into a vortex of unbearable **AGONY!**

Ron pouted.

"Nice try little bro, but that didn't work. Teapot above the door," Fred shook his head smirking, "Adorable."

"Well you know what? YOU'RE ADORABLE!"

"Ron that really didn't work."

"WELL NEITHER DID YOUR FACE!"

Fred Fabian Weasley would've been happy to let this go on for days, but Fred Fabian Weasley was getting hungry. Ronald Bilius Weasley was reluctantly dragged down the stairs.

Once Fred Fabian Weasley and Ronald Bilius Weasley got there they found Ginny Molly Weasley messing with a pink pipe cleaner tiara and vandalizing one of Charlie's schoolbooks with a goat. Ginny Molly Weasley finished coloring the goat purple, proclaiming "YAY! A GOAT!" Percy Ignatius Weasley snatched the book out of her hand, he'd been 'studying' lately, even though he wouldn't be at Hogwarts another two years. He'd also been writing quite a bit but unfortunately pencils hated him, he used them as makeshift gavels instead and pretended being in the Wizengamot.

"This year I plan to study a lot." he said pompously.

George snorted. "That would be cool-"

"But, well it's actually not." Fred completed. "Hey Ron, come _on_. It's the only lunch that we've got!"

Ron brightened, "And that's cool!"

"And it's totally awesome!" Ginny beamed, the rest of them looked at her strangely. Interesting choice of words...

Just then their Dad swept in, studying diagrams of some weird blue box. Their Mum followed balancing lunch, "Arthur put that away, you'd better not be trying to figure out how to make it...I don't know-bigger on the inside or something!" He immediately swept the drawings under the table, revealing another drawing of a Muggle contraption. This one was labelled 'fellytone.'

"Arthur! I thought we agreed no more telephones after the last incident. That poor Muggle...Liam I think? Oh well, now put it away"

"Yes dear," Arthur tucked them away along with two others marked 'rubber duckies' and 'sonic screwdrivers.' "Percy you too, put the book away."

"But I'm learning about wizarding plagues in Chernobyl!"

"Gesundheit." said Ron.

Ginny giggled, though she made a face at plague mentions, "Ew."

"What's wrong with the plague?" Percy frowned.

"You did not just say that." George said flatly while Molly told Artur about some distant relatives, Sally, Milton, Jessica, Josephine, and Naomi. Something about Sally's birthday and whatnot.

"Hey wasn't Charlie supposed to take that book back to school with him?" George asked, "What, do you plan to borrow it for the next _three years _without returning it?"

"Psshhh" Percy said but turned bright red anyway.

"Percy's such a rebel, see? _Screw due dates!"_

"Language Fred!" Molly chided.

"I mean..._forget due dates!_"

"Better. Now after lunch we've got to make Sally a birthday card" The kids all nodded, despite not listening the whole time.

"Oh! And did I tell you? Ronnikins tried pranking me." Fred told George once she'd quit talking. "Teapot in the door."

George snickered in a brotherly way as Percy looked down disapprovingly.

"It was genius," Fred nodded seriously at Ron.

"YOU'RE GENIUS!"

"Thanks little bro, but I don't think that worked."

"Well NEITHER DID YOUR FACE!" Ron's ears turned red.

Fred turned to George, they really needed to teach him how to use those properly.

After wishing Sally a happy birthday.

**The End.**

* * *

**A/N Happy Birthday egoats! You hate me for this don't you? :P**

**Everybody who's not egoats, sorry if that made no sense. That was sort of a Frankenstein's monster of inside jokes in story form. If you want a more sensible story go check egoats's fics. C'mon it's her b-day! Also check out Anieliliwe's while you're at it. Because. And REVIEW! OR BE TRAMPLED BY A TAP DANCING HIPPOGRIFF!**


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